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"I love you all. I love you more than life itself, but you're all fucking mad."
Ozzy Osbourne
The Osbournes television show

"Jack, stop telling people you're Ozzy Osbourne's son to get into places, you're a fucking loser!"
Ozzy Osbourne
The Osbournes television show

"I suppose Americans get a kick out of watching a crazy Brit family like us make complete fools of ourselves every week."
Ozzy Osbourne
Explaining popularity of TV documentary The Osbournes

"Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a shitload of bubbles!?"
Ozzy Osbourne
The Osbournes television show

"Every time I mention the vagina doctor, you get this little smirk on your face. What have you been up to?"
Ozzy Osbourne
To Kelly, The Osbournes television show

"I love the smell of armpits in the morning. It's like victory.
"Ozzy Osbourne
The Osbournes television show

"I kept hearing that metal is dead and Ozzy's dead and people that like Ozzy are dead. I have never had an empty seat. I've always sold out, so who's saying it's all over?"
Ozzy Osbourne

"I want to be American. America is the coolest place on the face of the Earth. You've got freedom of speech. You've got McDonald's."
Ozzy Osbourne

"I've had every known chemical--cocaine, booze--and tobacco is the hardest one in the world for me to quit. You watch old flicks? It's suggestion by looking at something: You see a cigarette, and it makes you want to smoke!"
Ozzy Osbourne